When I was trying to get my heart open, I always turned around and got another side of my soul closed. I did not know how to deal with that. I thought it was what people had tried out to make the event more complete. As I was trying to repair something, like love or my hates, I would only do it for one group of people, but the other side of the company could be hurt seriously. That was not what I hated, beacuse I could not think in a completely way.

 

  SOMEtimes I thought I was indifferent, not for my surroundings, but for myself. icould not emphasize that how important my memories were. I had heard of a story that was talking about mother love. A boy loved his girl and the girl was always trying to make her boy more concerned about her. she told the boy what she wanted and the boy did what she had asked. The girl was a monster but the boy did not know.

 

  One day the boy was told that the girl wanted his mother's heart. Then the boy went home and quickly killed his mother. He brought his mother's heart to give it to his girl. The night was bitterly raining. Only, the heart in the boy's pocket was warm, warm enough. The boy performed his love and future with the girl, and never be afraid of windstorm. On a bridge, the boy fell down on the bridge. His mother's heart was rolling out out his pocket, lying on the ground. The rain bittered his face with soft rain drops. He was penetrated by the wind but he had already been unconscious.

 

  Then while he was picking up his mother's heart, the heart was saying to him, " My dear son, are you hurt..." then suddenly, the boy was freezing, crying without tears, moving without passions. he was dead at last becaous the girl ate him in the park.

 

  The story was terrible and I knew I would not allow to read mor stories like that, because that would make me lack of confidence about the world. I was reading that because I always told myself that there were still many kind people living the world. I told myself to believe the colorful world was still existing.

 

  that was the end of the term and a new term would begin in 2 weeks. I wrote the journal quiet often since I could describe feeling about what I had looked and what I had heard. I thought that the future life was in a huge range that we could not desigh it in a few minutes. so life would have his way to take place. we 'd better not make predictions for that, sine we were not preparing it deeply.

  Thanks for all the people who cared about me. Last time i talked about my friendship and i knew that was a tough question because it was what could not be determined in a few days. I was a little pessimistic, unless I had no idea about that. I wanted to say to my parents, my teachers. and my friends. I was not the person who never cared about , I just did not know how to describe.

  I had been in a busy week now. Everyday I had test, not quiz. I knew that was what I should do, but who would really like it. Nobody. I liked the way Mr.Doherty said. He said try to relax yourself and enjor your life. How here, I knew I would nor allow to make a qoutation For my own English teacher, But I just did it.

  I would come back home in few days. I was glad since I was trying to make my life more enjoyable.

    I always put something special in my blog, but now I did not have any ideas to do it. I could not say I was happy now because I lost my friend last night. I did not know why they were trying to be unconscious about our relationship, maybe she wanted to leave. or maybe she wanted us to know that she was important, or she just wanted to jutisfy that she was a person who was persistant.

 

   We used to hur each other since we met in the first place. We never do things good , but something wrong. Since we had been friends for 3years, I still could not understand why we could never go further and further. That was the main point. It was not the idea that somebody pick up someone else, it was where we should go and where we should belong to.

 

   When you dropped you bottle on the ground serously, I knew that our friendship could not be saved. I knew that the thing happened last night would never allow anyone eals knew, but I wanted to say, to my teacher and to the people who could be here ever since. That was a way to protect my heart. I was hurt.

 

   We would granduate from high school in 2 months. Why you chose to leave in the last life period. YOu will REGRET, so did we. I knew we could not come back again  and I knew that We could nt be fogiven by each other. I wished that someday in the future we could meet in the other country and said sorry somehow!~~~

    Last week I saw the movie "Life is Beautiful". I was a good movie that told most about the parent love, which had moved me a lot. I was moved by the imposing love that the father contained for his son. I was tearing about the sociiety at that time, but I could not control it. If I got a chance to see it again, it might be a great idear for me to see myself, to see what a extrodinary life I had now and I need to cherish it at once.

   For the last whole week, I was still thinking about the movie. I remembered one scene from the movie, which was that the father was protecting his son by puting his son in the the post box at the end of the movie. His father was trying to find his wife who was also captured by the German. When he was discovered by the Germen, he knew that he was close to death. He walked pass his son and he also made face for his son. Then he was killed. Idid not know what kind of mood he had when he was killed. I did not know why he could be so brave that he said the war was just a game. I did not even know where he picked up his confidence that he used the phone to tell his lover that he had loved her always. I did not even know^^^>>>....

   Today I know something that I need to know. I was very tired because I have a lot of work to do. I do not know when I can enjoy my life completely. I know I have something to say but now I foret. Maybe it is because that I have so many words to say but do not know where I will begin.

   I will grandate in about 2 months. It is a shor time but I will never forget that. Maybe I will never meet you again, I will remember that.